Contributed by Marilyn Bennett
Is it helpful to give money to someone asking for it on the street?
Perhaps.
It depends on what the individual plans to do with the money. Generally speaking, anything that is received with nothing required of the recipient could be harmful.
I remember my mother telling me about being on the farm during the depression. Men would come down to the farm and ask to chop wood or do anything to earn a meal and a place to sleep. What she passed on to me was that it would be shameful to ask for a hand-out without giving anything in return. That used to be a pretty universal attitude.
We are sure a long way from that!
Feeling good about doing good. Is the effectiveness of our giving based on that good feeling rather than the outcome? We should not ignore the negative side effects of giving without expectations. We often evaluate our charity by the rewards we receive through feeling good about ourselves, without knowing whether we helped or enabled the recipient.
Resources provided without any commitment or expectation from the recipient can foster resentment in both the giver and the recipient. Charity can have the effect of creating dependence.
Helping is doing something for anyone who is unable to do it for themselves. Enabling is doing something for an individual who could and should be doing for it for their self. The primary goal of charity should be to improve the lives of the recipient. Creating a cycle of dependency looks like something other than compassion.
According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness in January 2020, there were 580,466 people experiencing homelessness in America; of those, 161,569 lived in California. That is more than 25% of the total. A few years ago, I was visiting my brother in Sacramento and saw a huge crowd of people walking down the street. I asked my brother if a sporting event had just gotten out. No, he said that crowd is the homeless going for their noon meal at the city homeless shelter. In my many visits since, I have seen the homeless encampments growing by quantum leaps. I have noticed that the “good people” in California are feeding the homeless, providing them with state-of- the-art tents and putting up sanitary stations along, what used to be a bike trail.
Just imagine how difficult it would be to look for a job while living in a tent, trying to keep clean or have enough to eat. I do not judge a person who is down on their luck as I definitely experienced being broke as the result of my bad choices in the past. However, I changed my situation by working two or even three jobs to pull myself back up. Later in life, I became a landlord and have delayed collecting the rent many times when someone renting from me was experiencing a hard time. Most of the time, I was paid back when they got back on their feet.
Helping someone to get a job, providing a temporary place to sleep and a meal is one thing. Helping them to exist on the lowest level of our society is cruel. Simply giving, without requiring accountability, is irresponsible. We need to develop discernment to help us know the difference between helping and enabling. When you intervene by not allowing someone to suffer the consequences of their actions, you are limiting that person's ability to help themselves.
For a long time, we, as a society, have thought that it's a good idea when you see a homeless person to give them a little money. Dignity has become a buzzword in the world of services to the homeless and it’s easy to feel good about the idea of restoring dignity to people in need. But no one can give someone else dignity. The caregiver who says, “We will treat you with respect because of your inherent dignity,” is not helping, as every other day in the life of a homeless person is devoid of dignity. Such sentiments are equivalent to saying that I give you dignity by my gifts to you. Instead of facilitating empowerment, the message comes across as paternalistic
Remember: Comfortable people have zero motivation to change their behavior. Who are these homeless people? Some are young addicts who got kicked out of the house by Mom and Dad, others are lifelong hobos living off the land. Some are just recently down on their luck or out of a job with no place to live.
We must try to help those who are interested in rejoining our society and not enable those who are intent on continuing to live on the streets. I know many don't share my views, but my concern is to keep Palmer a safe place to live and enabling people to live on the streets is not healthy for them nor for our city.