Contributed by Larry Wood
Constituphobia is a unique malaise limited to our legislators. Constituphobia spreads when fear arises from the possibility of our legislators having to be in the presence of their constituents during a legislative session. Constituphobia manifests when the legislator realizes that the constituent will actually be able to see them in action and to even talk with them. This potential is frightening and produces symptoms of profound disorientation, paranoia, an increase in blood pressure, sweating, anxiety, headaches, a fear of the bars running out of booze and pizza, and fear that it won’t rain.
This malady rarely happens in Juneau. The expense for the trip pretty much eliminates the average Alaskan’s ability to visit their legislator in session. This allows the legislator to smooze and booze with lobbyists without concern.
The legislators in opposition to the governor’s choice of the Wasilla Middle School definitely manifest the symptoms of this disorder. There have even been expressions of concern over security.
Wasilla Middle School is in a federal gun free zone, meaning the legislature would be absolutely safe from any potential armed attacker. Armed security will not be needed. After all, gun free zone, right?
If Wasilla Middle School doesn’t assuage their security fears, there is always the empty Palmer Correctional Center that can lodge them. There is no greater security for our legislators than their own rooms with a steel door with a lock on it, even if it is locked from the outside. There are even isolation cells for those with a socialization problem.
Governor Mike Dunleavy has done a good job sticking to his stated agenda. He presented a balanced budget, the first in decades. He challenged the Legislature to do their job and to work with him to find a solution to the state’s over spending.
Unlike former Governor Bill Walker, Dunleavy did not take from the average Alaskan, punish industry and reduce jobs and opportunity. Unlike Walker, Dunleavy did not ignore the mistake that was SB91.
This doesn’t mean that things will go his way. The PFD amount seems to be a bigger hill to climb than the budget.
The governor told the Legislature during the PFD fight that either resolve the issue before the end of the last special session, or the next special session would be in Wasilla.
Given the weak complaints over the lack of Wasilla’s amenities, and the “remote” location make one think that they were meeting on a desolate beach with grizzly bear nearby, or in one of Anchorage’s homeless camps, given the security fears.
It is interesting to note that these legislators who complained about security ignore the fact that the school is active during the school year and full of kids. The security concerns do not apply to the kids. Just to legislators. More than likely, these same legislators would be in opposition to any armed protection for the kids, our most valuable resource. They show their priorities in their complaints, themselves, not the public, and certainly not our kids.
The only known remedy to Constituphobia is an absence of constituents in the visitor’s gallery, silence between sessions, and adult beverages in quantity. Aspirin can help with headaches. Otherwise, why, after 3 votes in favor of moving the capitol is the capitol still in Juneau?
Had Bill Walker made the Legislature meet where the majority of Alaskans could influence the Legislature by their physical presence, SB91 would not have passed and the horrendous toll imposed upon Alaskans in the form of violence and loss of property would not have grown by several orders of magnitude.
Fortunately, Dunleavy lived up to his promise and remedies have been imposed making the mistake that was SB91 past history.
I’m sure the hubris driven “victims” of Constituphobia will overcome their fears sufficiently to resolve the PFD dilemma. Or, they might consider investing in Wasilla real estate, since it would be likely that the governor would keep them there.
The real problem is the hubris of these whiners and the desire to continue to fool the plebes by maintaining the status quo, which is the art of spending billions and not resolving anything.
Get your veto pen ready, Mr. Governor, hold their feet to the fire and throw them an aspirin if they exhibit signs of Constituphobia. You might want to get a few rooms at Palmer Correctional Center ready, just in case any try to bolt.
Maybe, we should have signs posted along the Glenn back to Anchorage showing legislators and their aides running across the highway like California has for Illegals. These designated crossing points will provide the commuters on the Glenn with the opportunity to reduce the size of government.
