Contributed by Andy Evans
Nice people should not seek public office. There are manifold reasons for this. First, nice people are possessed of a sense of basic decency. Everybody knows that successful politicians have no sense of decency. It is this dearth of propriety that makes them successful in the first place. Being hampered by a conscience, morality, or just a nagging desire to do the right thing will consign a politician to the ash can of history every time. When in Washington D.C., take a leisurely stroll past the George McGovern Memorial. Not there you say? Evidently. Basic decency robbed yet another nice person of a marble edifice on which could be etched his favorite quotes.
Second, nice people are generally modest. These folks are commodiously uncomfortable with the idea of self-promotion. Imagine the state of world affairs had JFK been a nice person. “OK, you guys take Cuba and we’ll get the next one....” Alternatively, consider the implications in a world without Trump/Pence campaign buttons. As they endlessly demonstrate, successful politicians are passionately in love with, well, themselves. They delight in seeing themselves on television, they revel in hearing themselves talk, and they are overwrought with emotion upon seeing images of themselves on giant billboards. Politicians not fully vested with a resplendency of supreme pomposity, abject narcissism, and unlimited egocentrism cannot long endure. Nice people simply can’t measure up to these standards.
Third, nice people are fundamentally honest. If politicians can’t get behind destroying their opponents with fabricated photos and false testimony, paid for with diverted campaign funds, then they have no business running for public office. Nice people lie awake some nights wondering if they did the right thing. Successful politicians soundly slumber, illuminated by the afterglow of smoldering wreckage of nice people they demolished that day.
Finally, nice people just can’t go the distance. Ultimately, they can no longer suppress conscience, modesty, or a sense of fair play and find themselves standing before the gateway to the great abyss. Thence, the nice person summons moral courage and steps back from the abyss. The successful politician, on the other hand, lives in the great abyss. It’s a nice dank place to concoct villainy, and it has cable television and good barbeque.
As an infamous, if not completely successful, politician once lamented of his experience, “Once I gave up integrity, the rest was easy.” It just goes to show you that nice people do not belong in politics. They really do finish last.
