What about My Child?
Contributed by Marilyn Bennett
What should I do if my child comes to me and says that he/she is transgender? If I support his/her self-identification as real, should I support his/her new identity completely? If so, how far should I support this new identification. Should I remain neutral and say, "Well if that is your decision, I will of course support you as I love you." But should I ask him/ her to be sure he/she has looked into all the possible problems such a decision may involve.
As a parent I do feel that I should protect my child from doing anything that he/she might regret in the future. Because of this I started to do some research on what the possible problems were. I saw reports that said most children grow out of gender dysphoria after puberty. Therefore, allowing my child to do anything to permanently change his/her body might be a source of regret in his/her future.
First, I Looked into puberty blockers. The Americana College of Pediatricians says that: "Puberty blockers may actually cause depression and other emotional disturbances related to suicide. In fact, the package insert for Lupron, lists “emotional instability as a side effect." They went on to state that temporary use of Lupron has been associated with many serious permanent side effects including osteoporosis, mood disorders, seizures, cognitive impairment and when combined with cross-sex hormones, sterility. Also, I found with further research that many puberty blockers given to children can have dangerous side effects, including lowered bone density, stunted growth, and permanent infertility.
That all looked a little scary to me. However, some psychiatrists state that not allowing a child to take the puberty blockers could push he/she towards suicide. Confusing, but as it is possible the drugs could actually make the child more prone to suicide, I decided it is best for me to stick to a no drug policy. Since I wanted the best possible future for my child I had to balance the different opinions on the subject. It just seemed that until I know for sure that a drug is safe, I wanted to veer on the side of caution. Puberty blockers and sex hormones do not have U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval for children’s gender care. No clinical trials have established their safety for such use and in 2016, the FDA ordered makers of puberty blockers to add a warning about psychiatric problems to the drug's label after the agency received several reports of suicidal thoughts in children who were taking them.
Next, I looked at surgery: What I found out was that what is called “gender affirming care,” is encouraging children to have irreversible surgeries with unknown long-term consequences. These surgical procedures involve removing healthy breast tissue and genitalia. Mayo Clinic does female to male surgery which includes surgical removal of breast tissue. Genital surgery to remove the uterus and cervix, a total hysterectomy Surgery to remove all or part of the vagina, called a vaginectomy to create a scrotum, called scrotoplasty, place testicular prostheses, increase the length of the clitoris, called metoidioplasty, or create a penis, called phalloplas.
Mount Sinai Hospital does male to female surgery called Gender affirming vaginoplasty which involves creating a vagina, clitoris, labia majora, and labia minora using existing genital tissue. This is performed vaginoplasty under general anesthesia. Most people spend three full days in the hospital after surgery. Recovery from vaginoplasty can take up to three months and requires intensive post-operative care. Most people spend the first seven to ten days after the procedure in bed, getting up only to go to the bathroom. It is important to have both someone who can help take care of you after surgery as well as the privacy you need to take care of yourself. You will also need the privacy to dilate every day. Dilation involves inserting a medical dilator into the vagina to keep it from closing. The process can be painful and messy. After looking over these surgical options it seemed to me that such a life changing decision should be put off as long as possible.
In any case I knew I would never consent to letting my child alter his/her body in such a drastic fashion. I decided I would tell my child that I loved him/her too much to approve either the use of life altering drugs or body altering surgery. However, I did feel that this would be good time for him/ her to do in-depth research for his/herself to see both the pluses and minuses that such a radical change would bring to his/her life. All my decisions were motivated by love for my child.